Jake

Had to put Jake down yesterday. Hard. Doc came to the house, and Jake got to stay put in a place he was comfortable; on the floor in the bedroom. Went to sleep. Doc helped me carry him outside to the grass in front of the house. Dead weight. Probably 80 lbs.

He dropped a lot of weight recently. Stopped eating. I was gone three weeks. He pined and didn't eat much. He waited till I came home to give up the ghost. We got a last couple of days together.

When I got home, he came out and greeted me as usual, tail wagging. He could still go up and down the stairs. He lay by my side as I coded on the computer. He lay at my feet while I meditated in the morning. But he didn't eat. And, he started whining as he slept. He sounded more sad than in pain, but I know he must have been. Had a couple new tumors.

While I was waiting on Doc to arrive, I dug a grave with the tractor. Picked a great spot in the far back pasture with a view of the lake. Thought a lot about my Mom, asking "Are you near the water" over and over, every time I talked to her the last year or so of her life.

The horses came to the fence, but not over to the grave. Gave me some comfort, but they'd never been tight, Jake and the horses. But they were part of the farm. They all knew he was my valued companion. Sure was. He was a good 'un, old Jake was.